"I am okay, it is just steroids week"

While I was at appointment last week,I was sitting next to a mom with an "unruly" kid  of hers running around. and for the first time i wasn't mad. I didn't get up, i didn't roll my eyes, or suck my teeth. and after a couple of minutes the mom, turn around and apologize for her kids actions he had ADHD and some other things going on plus they made him fast so he was just unhappy,hungry and he had extreme mood swings. And I completely understand. I told her my daughter situation and how the days she was on her meds I didn't know who I was going to get at any given moment. She ask how I dealt with it? My reply was simple,I take a step back.
 Now I know this might sound silly, when it has to deal with a 7 year old. However, I think it is important with dealing with a kid that is on medication that makes them have mood swings.  So I have to take two steps back and breath when she starts her yelling, crying and stomping
 I have to ask myself simple questions two questions: Is it my tone? Why is she really upset about?
I am 98%able to deal with it, the other 2% I want to hide in the closet and hope she doesn't find me. All in all i repeat the words "I am okay, it is just steroids week"and wait till Sunday.

Taking care of Lil K

As all of you that follow me on tweet might know Lil K is undergoing chemotherapy for the LCH. We have to travel An hour and a half for her treatment and to see other health care team.

And I do mean team I feel like she is seeing at least 10 different doctors, nurses , child life workers, and social workers. It may seem like a lot but all of it is needed to make sure she is back on the road to recovery and getting everything she needs.

Since the chemo has been wreaking havoc on her system,  I decided to leave school and stay home and be a stay at home mom. There always seems like there is something to do in the house, either I need to run and get something from the store or I am cleaning non stop. I don't mind it, it does get take some time to get use to but I am finding a routine that I am used to and enjoying certain parts over other.

FAMILY

About two weeks ago when this all started I had call up Lil K’s father and had let him know about the situation and how serious things might be. At that time she would be going for an biopsy because it looks like it can be cancerous  and that the doctors will tell me about the results the next day.Now I don’t put a lot of confidence in this so called man. But I was at least hoping that this might make him at least realize how important it is to at least keep some type of contact with his daughter. He told me that he would call back; and he never did.

I hate using the term "sperm donor" but I think he deserves that title because he just don't care. I am tried of hearing I want to change and I will change. Just to get nothing. And why should I subject my daughter to that? Why should I let her know about a man(and I do use the term loosely) that doesn't give a damn to call her daughter up and find out how she is doing?

So I ain’t. I am not going to let any guy come in and hurt my daughter. I know she needs to know about who her father is, and I do understand that. And I hope that when she gets older that she can understand why he isn't part of her life. Because of all the lies and abuse that I once went through with him ...

SCHOOL

Like I have said earlier I am not attending school this semester to take care of her. I decided that this year I will be taking online classes at the local community college at my school. And then possiable thinking about finishing my degree online instead return to the college that I was currently attending. I am taking it one step at a time and putting my daughter first as always.

In support

My daughter is going through chemo so I cut off all my hair...